Seeing both sides of the equation
OK so...I've got to start talking about the things that are on my mind. Right now I'm on this kick where I try to see both sides of every argument before I decide where I stand.
Lately I've noticed that my views have shifted far from where they once were. I grew up in the country close to Burlington, Iowa, about 20 minutes away. I went to school at Danville- 1st through 12th grade. (barely 12th, let's say...12.5) I went to Harmony Bible church until I was about 33. Growing up in that scenario had made me into someone I didn't realize I was. What I mean by that is that I was someone who was pretty conservative, not by choice, but because of my location. I didn't really know much better, nor did I have much influence any other way. I didn't really know about good music, didn't know that God was cool with booze, and I knew zip about culture in general. I was living in a "conservative christian bubble". All of my friends, co-workers, and almost everyone I knew were christians, which really made it very hard to see life as it really is.
My wife and kids have recently (about 1.5 years ago) moved to Solon, Iowa, which is located about 10 miles north of Iowa City. I have worked in Iowa City on a regular basis for about 4.5 years now and have been exposed to just about everything one can be exposed to, culture, music, booze, etc.
When I first saw the culture and lifestyle of the area I was in sort of a shock. I hadn't seen anything like it, ever. (BTW I wasn't really into movies, either-which could have broken me in a little).
Now that I see life how it happens, I can totally see that I was wrong to judge. So wrong. I have deep regret that I used to look down on people for reasons that I won't mention. My biggest problem now is that I look down on people who are like I used to be. I decided to use all of this to preface what I'm about to say.
I heard today on NPR that President Obama has changed some of the rulings on abortion and stem-cell research.
To be very honest, I don't know for certain where I stand on these issues. I don't feel that I'm educated enough to make a stand one way or another. I will say that I feel sorry for people who have had to make those decisions. I can't imagine being in those shoes, which brings me to my point-I would love to live in a society where people would try to see things from a different perspective-a perspective other than their own. What I mean is that I understand both sides of the equation now; living in both types of lifestyles-conservative and liberal.
Where I'm from, abortion is wrong in every case. Just wrong. The problem with that is that the people who say that are the ones who live in the "bubble" and don't really know anyone who ever has had to make that decision. If you talk to someone who has, it is evident that it has changed their life, for the better or worse. It is life-changing, and to say that it is wrong only throws more guilt on those who are struggling with it. I want to be the kind of person who can see things through the eyes of the person who is having the issue and not try to be the "fixer" of the problem, but the friend to the person dealing with it. To me, it doesn't matter whether or not something is right or wrong, what matters now is how I respect and care for the person who is in the middle of it.
Whether or not you agree with our new president, I think it's important to see that every issue has two or more sides to it and we can't just take one and run with it.
Anyway...that's all pretty heavy and I'm sorry for throwing down, but I felt it all needed to be said. If you would like to comment I'd appreciate it if it was on the constructive side!
I do think that listening, listening, listening is so important and the times I think I have best understood someone have been when I have had this mindset...however, many times I have finished visiting someone and thought - gee, why did I always have to butt in with something about me or as Joe said try to fix their situation. That said, as a Christian and probably for most people who have convictions, it is hard to know where to draw the line sometimes - not draw the line in love, but in what to say. I happened to read in Leviticus this morning to go over notes from a missed sermon and in 19:17 it says that "you shall not hate your fellow countryman in your heart; you may surely reprove your neighbor, but shall not incur sin because of him. Anyways, the whole referenced passage was verses 19:9-18 and most all of it is things we are NOT to do to oppress others but this one verse mentioned something to do...and the how to do that in love is the trick for me most always.
I have to say that I have and am experiencing much of the same transformation. Although I did not grow up in church, or even a believer, I found myself in that same "bubble" once I became a Christian. I have horrid memories of judging others of thier faults because it was easier to confront theirs rather than my own. I didn't need to live in a liberal town to be exposed to culture, music, and booze- because I was heavy in it as a non-Christian. Once saved, I felt it was my duty to warn others of the dangers of some of those things because they were weaknesses for me- not considering that they may not be weaknesses for others, thus making my judgement inappropriate and misdirected (as usual- needed to learn to leave that to God). I have realized over the past few years that, as you said, I don't need to fix people- but rather love them where they are. Just as I need Christ to love me where I am. Thanks Joe, this spurs some good reminders in me of how we should really be living.
Joe! So glad to see you are blogging. I have found it very therapeutic. It really forces you to look inside and attempt to not just understand why you feel the way you do but also explain it to others. Philosophers call this the witness or observer position and it is probably one of the most important things you can do for self discovery. Abortion and stem cell are both such hot and polarizing topics. Very difficult to discuss in print. Abortion is particularly difficult because the debate is framed by the rigid labels of Pro-Life/Pro-Choice. RvW happened in the 70's. Since 1981 we have had a 20 years of Republican presidents vs 8 years of a Democratic president. What has changed? What I see is a bunch of people shooting rhetoric at each other as abortion rates climb higher and higher. The only way we are going to address this issue is to change our perspective on it and re-frame the debate. We need to quit fighting and start moving ahead, which requires a compromise. Unfortunately, if you are Pro-Life and you consider even a slight compromise, your label is revoked and you become Pro-Choice by default. I do not know much about the stem cell stuff except that it has researchers very excited. I attended a lecture at the Uni where a leading physiology researcher went on and on about how many lives could be saved through stem cell stuff. If I remember her correctly (warning!!), she said that researchers want access to naturally aborted fetuses (ie miscarriages) and the stem cells in the placenta, similar to donating an organ or your remains to science. Then the "slippery slope" argument gets thrown in there and next thing you know we have pregnant teens donating fetuses like we donate blood or plasma. The question then become how much weight should we give that argument if we know this could save lives? I should look into it more because I think it will become a larger issue down the road. Well, thanks for getting me all riled up. Maybe I'll go add some to my blog now! I think it is funny that you mention Iowa City. I am pretty sure my parents think that IC ruined me. I have heard them say "you just think that because you were in IC". THE DEVIL LIVES IN IC!!
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